happy

i'm feeling really contented now
munching on some guava
relaxed because there's no school tomorrow

french seriously confuses me
everyone seems to be getting it except for me
the teacher even asked whether it was my first lesson today
:( what is conjugate anyway ???
sighs will work hard to get it
it's seriously not worth s/u-ing

i'm just typing this as i'm waiting for a video to load
so i know it's really nothing much interesting
but yeah
nothing else to do online

i hate growing up
i hate new year's day
i hate my birthday
i can never really be happy during these two dates
i've felt this way since young, i remember crying at night at the prospect of me growing old, and my parents growing old and dying
i really wonder why people get so happy on new yr's and their bdays
-____-"
do they really want to finish school, and go out to work, pay debt after debt (esp the middle class people), do whatever else they do in life, then grow old, retire, wait for death, and die
i do not want to grow up
but i cannot stop time
i am but nobody, in the bigger scheme of things

omg my mood totally swinged from happy to emo through this post lol
but yeah, that's how i am
i feel emo and contented at the same time
i'm full of crap
lol
shall go watch the vid now